Africa
Development, Vol. XXXVII, No. 3, 2012, pp. 115 – 126
© Council for the
Development of Social Science Research in Africa, 2012
(ISSN 0850-3907)
Where is my
Daddy? An Exploration of the
Impact of
Absentee Fathers on the Lives of Young People in Botswana
Gloria Thupayagale-Tshweneagae*, Tennyson
Mgutshini** and Zethu Zerish Nkosi***
Abstract
A substantial body of research has consistently concluded
that children growing up with absentee fathers are at an increased risk of
maladjustment. This paper argues that co-parenting can have both direct and
indirect or mediated effects on children. Co-parenting has an added benefit of
modelling dyadic skills that include proving mutual emotional support,
influence, and amicable resolution of disputes. Through qualitative data
obtained in 2009 from 45 final year students at the University of Botswana, the
authors conclude that African personhood is a larger-than-self conception,
which also includes more than the physical being and shows that young people
raised in father-absent families view their personhood as inferior, less
guarded, and incomplete, relative to that of their counterparts who were born
and raised in married-couple families. Living a full quality life eludes youth
who were raised by mothers only, affirming the importance of fathers in the
personhood of any individual.
Key Words: Absentee
fathers; youth personhood; co-parenting
Résumé
Elles sont nombreuses les études qui concluent
systématiquement que les enfants grandissant en l’absence de leurs pères sont
plus susceptibles d’être des inadaptés sociaux. Cet article a pour objet de
démontrer que la coparentalité peut avoir des effets à la fois directs et
indirects ou intermédiaires sur l’enfant. La coparentalité permet en plus de
façonner les aptitudes relevant des deux conjoints dont le soutien émotionnel
et l’influence réciproques ainsi que le règlement des
* Faculty
of Human Sciences, University of South Africa. Email: tshweg@unisa.ac.za;
** Faculty
of Human Sciences, University of South Africa. Email: mgutst@unisa.ac.za.
*** Faculty of Human
Sciences, University of South Africa.
Email: nkosizz@unisa.ac.za
116 Africa Development, Vol. XXXVII, No. 3, 2012
disputes à l’amiable. Sur la base des données
qualitatives obtenues en 2009 auprès de 45 étudiants en dernière année à
l’Université du Botswana, les auteurs ont pu conclure que la notion
d’Africanité transcende le concept de la personne et embrasse plus que l’être physique. L’étude démontre que les
jeunes qui ont grandi dans des familles monoparentales où le père est absent se
considèrent comme inférieurs, moins choyés et non-épanouis, comparés à ceux qui
sont nés et élevés dans des familles avec des parents mariés. Les jeunes élevés
dans une famille monoparentale, formée uniquement de la mère, sont loin de
mener une vie qualitative. Ainsi, la présence du père est indispensable et
structurante de la personnalité de tout individu.
Introduction
Historically, men’s role in the upbringing of their
children was limited primarily to their economic contribution (Burgess and
Russell 2004), leading fathers often to be invisible or overlooked in parenting
programmes and activities that extended beyond their role as a bread-winner.
This has been a trend in both developed and developing countries (Daly,
Ashbourne and Brown 2009). The changing trend in men’s participation in care is
influenced by the dynamics of the world today, such as men’s employment status
(O’Brien and Richter 2011) that place fathers in positions to be involved in a
wide range of parenting roles. The benefits of father involvement have been
suggested across cultures, family structures and the types of parental
relationships with some, including Pruett et al., (2009) suggesting that
children who are supported by their fathers show lower levels of child neglect.
The contribution made by fathers in the upbringing of their children differs
from country to country. The increasing understanding of the importance of the
role fathers play in children’s development is coupled with enhanced awareness
that fathers’ parenting roles have changed in recent years (Pruett et al.,
2009). Anderson et al., (1999) posit that males provide substantial amounts of
care and resources to children and their absence can have a range of
detrimental effects on the psycho-social development of the child.
This is especially noteworthy within
the African context where rates of father absenteeism appear to be on the
increase. O’Brien and Ritcher’s (2011)
study underlines this observation by presenting findings that show that up to
39 percent of children within South Africa grow up without their fathers. The
issue of father involvement has been sparsely studied in Botswana (Maundeni
2000; Beardshaw 2006; and Dyer et al., 2011). Even so, the few published works,
including Maundeni (2000), confirm a noteworthy decline on the quality of life
for children who have no contact with their fathers, especially children from
divorced families and the never married. Beadshaw (2006) offers a contradictory
view and argues that absenteeism related to fathers’ working can in fact have a
positive influence on their children. The South African picture is contradicted
by other countries, for example, in
117
Jamaica, fathers are responsible for raising their children
regardless of the custodial union and in that regard marriage status does not
become a determinant on father involvement in parenting (Wanda 2009). Notably,
the changing roles of women and men within the workplace appear to be giving an
impetus to a new set of dynamics in the roles played by men within parenting.
In the Canadian context, for example, men have greater flexibility within the
workplace and as a result, they have increased opportunities for taking an
active role in parenting (Daly, Ashbourne and Brown 2009). In the US, women who
work with health care disciplines spend comparatively more time than men in
work and as a result, men have increased participation in parental and domestic
activities (Hoffman 1998). O’Brien (2011) and Richter and Dorrit (2004) reveal
similar patterns in Norway, especially in the increase in men’s participation
in domestic activities. A closer analysis of this study area seems to illuminate
a trend that points to many parts of Africa as having quite contradictory
patterns to other parts of the world in terms of the roles played by fathers in
raising their children. O’Brien (2011) and Richter and Dorrit (2004) offer some
insights into the South African experience but clearly need to be augmented by
comparable studies within the continent. Informed by this trend in scholarship
on fathers’ role in their children’s socialisation, the current study explores
the emotional and social impact of growing up in father-absent families within
a university student population in Botswana.
Methods
A qualitative study was designed to explore the emotional
and social impact of the absence of fathers on young adults raised in
father-absent families. The study used five focus group discussions conducted
over 30 days to elicit information from participants on the emotional and
social impact of being raised by their mothers without a father figure. Flyers
were placed around the University of Botswana inviting would-be participants.
The flyers clearly stipulated that those eligible to participate must be age 21
years and above and have been raised in single parent households where there
was no father figure. A telephone number and email of the principal investigator
was also posted for further clarity on the study.
The Ministry of Health Review Boards
approved the study before data collection and a detailed leaflet explaining the
study was given to all prospective participants. The leaflet explained the
purpose, activities, duration and the expectations of the study. A consent form
was also drawn up which participants had to sign if they agreed to participate
after reading the leaflet. A statement on confidentiality was included that no
names or identifying data would be included at any stage of the study and for
any publication that might emerge from the study. The statement on voluntarism
and withdrawal
118 Africa Development, Vol. XXXVII, No. 3, 2012
from the study at any time during the process of the study
was included and it clearly delineated that such students would not be treated
unfairly or prejudiced in any way. Each participant was required to fill out a
selfdeveloped demographic form indicating gender, age, knowledge of their
father and father’s involvement in their lives.
Data Collection
Data were collected by means of focus groups. There were
five focus groups held which lasted for two hours each and were conducted over
30 working days. The focus group discussions were audio-taped with the consent
of the participants. A focus group guide developed by the principal
investigator was used to guide the discussions. The principal investigator led
all the discussions and the second co-author took notes and noted any
observations. Focus group discussions were grouped into categories as suggested
by Krueger (1998b) under the following headings: Opening, Introduction,
transition and closing.
The opening began with the Principal
investigator introducing herself and allowing the co-authors to introduce
themselves. This was followed by the PI asking participants why they
volunteered to participate in this study. This was to relax participants and
allow for openness in the discussion. The grand tour question for the
discussion was, ‘Tell me your experiences about growing up without a father’.
The tour question was supplemented by other questions such as: ‘Let us discuss
how your emotions have been affected by the absence of your fathers in your
lives; ‘Are there any social benefits derived from having a father?’; Are there
any cultural expectations from children growing with and those without
fathers?; Let us talk about how having a stay-infather would have helped you;
Let us discuss some of the positive and negative effects of having a father or
not having a father; Are there any positives or negatives that you have experienced
by not having a father?
All these questions were followed by many probes such as
‘expand on what you mean when you said your mother wants you all to herself’,
and others such as ‘Has any other person experienced the same thing?’
Data Analysis
Content analysis adopted from Krueger (1998b) was used to
analyse data from focus group discussions. Audio tape recordings were
transcribed verbatim by a consultant knowledgeable on transcription. Field
notes taken during the focus group discussions were also examined. Data
analysis was done by the PI, co-author and the consultant. Transcripts were
read by the PI, co-author and consultant independently and then comparing notes
through a three step process of content analysis, identification of emerging patterns
119
and developing sub-themes. Where there was no consensus the
theme was dropped or the PI and team members went back to the transcripts until
consensus was reached.
Results
Demographic Characteristics
A total of 45 fourth year
university students participated in the study. The participants were aged 21 to
25 years with a mean age of 23. A total of five focus groups were conducted.
The groups were arranged in the same gender cohorts with the first and second
groups consisting of a male group of nine participants each aged between 21 and
23 and third group consisting of males aged between 24 and 25. The fourth group
was all females aged between 21 and 23 and there were 12 participants in this
group. The last group consisted of six female participants aged between 24 and
25.
Themes
A number of themes emerged from these focus groups that in
turn led to even more sub-themes as shown in Table 1 below:
Emotional Impact
All the five groups expressed stress and depression as
noted emotional effects that they experienced for not knowing who their fathers
were. However, all the female groups verbalized anger and hate towards their
mothers for the absence of their fathers in their lives. This was best
exemplified in the quote below by a 23 year old female student who said: ‘I at
times hate my mother for denying me the opportunity to know my dad’.
Social Impact
A clear distinction emerged between female and male
participants in their perceptions of the social impact that the absence of
their father brought to their lives. Male participants were mostly concerned
about the cultural practices that involve fathers, such as getting married and
filling out official forms. Female participants were mostly worried about the
possibilities of dating one’s own brother and just not feel a sense of
belonging. Some selected quotes that validate the social effects experienced by
participants are provided here:
Filling forms that requires you to mention your father is
very uncomfortable or directly being asked about your father, you have to say,
‘I do not know’, or ‘is dead’ or something, you feel excluded’ (23 year old
male participant).
121
I am
thinking of getting married in the near future, but who will negotiate my
marriage? Who would I tell my wife is my father, how would I answer if she
wonders about my ability to be a proper father because I have never known one?
(25 year old male participant).
You need to have a sense of belonging. One day I was writing
my mom’s name on my desk calendar and my friend said, ‘Is your dad so bad that
you do not write him on your desk calendar?’ I got so angry (22 year old female
participant).
I do not know who to blame – I dated a girl and went all the
way only to hear rumours that she was my sister. I no longer date. I feel like
a social misfit (24 year old male participant).
Cultural Identity
Participants verbalized the fact that in an African culture
like Botswana, a person is culturally identified by his father’s name and
generally belongs with his father’s people. Participants felt that using their
mothers’ name is not proper hence they do not feel a sense of belonging and tended
to see themselves as having no identity. This was best exemplified by the quote
from a 24 year old male who said:
I use my mother’s name and always wonder who am I? I do not
know what I will tell my children if I do marry.
Fathers’ Responsibility
The father’s responsibility also emerged as a theme.
Generally, the participants’ fathers had no role in their lives. There were
those participants who knew their fathers but the fathers were not involved in
their upbringing as exemplified in the following quotes from some of the
participants:
My mother once said she will shoot me if I ever look for my
father (21 year old male participant).
Mum calls me his baby. I know she means well but she is so
possessive of me (23 year old male participant).
I was told that my father paid for my school fees through the
district commissioner until I was 18 years old. That was the only way he was
involved in my care (24 year old female participant).
Discussion
Although it is apparent that the involvement of fathers in
their children’s lives is changing, there is need for more rigorous steps to be
taken that encourage men to be more involved with their children right from
birth. In the current study participants did not know their fathers and voiced
the desire to meet them in order to have an identity that they could pass on to
122
their children. This desire is compatible with the African
Personhood theory that contends that an African being represents a system; an
orientation inextricably connected to community or an ethnic group, or a
cultural practice. The embodiment of an African person is the essence of the
organization of being inherent in the organization’s ontology, directing the
understanding of how a person conceives of him/herself (Fairfax 2008).
There is an assumption that a father need not do certain
chores for his/her children, including grooming, feeding and other menial
duties that encourage bonding between parents and their children. This notion
is more pronounced in Botswana (Thupayagale-Tshweneagae, Seloilwe and Dithole
2005). However, Fairfax (2008) contradicts this notion in his African
Personhood theory that an African-centred idea of a human person, stipulates
that a man is a man if he does not let go of his responsibility and that a
person not exhibiting moral and ethical behaviours deemed to be morally correct
by their culture is an aberration of personhood. Fairfax’s notion of personhood
is in this study stretched to show that what most of the participants sought
was the social presence of their fathers so as to give them a concrete social
identity. Following these findings we can therefore imply that fatherhood as a
symbolic entity (where the father is present in the child’s life irrespective
of the material chores he performs) contributes to the child’s sense of self
and personhood.
The involvement of a father extends overtime and is often
regarded as interaction availability and responsibility (Lamb, Pleck, Charnov
and Levine 1987:125). In the current study, participants decried the fact that
not knowing their fathers socially excludes them from fully participating in
cultural practices. Steinmetz and Day (2000) assert that the benefits of father
involvement hold across cultures and family structures. The findings of this
study further confirm what is already known in research that male children are
likely to communicate with mothers and female children are more comfortable
with their fathers (Guerrero and Afifi 1995). Females in the study were angry
at not knowing their father for personal reasons, whereas male participants
acknowledged the dual roles of their mothers and only wanted fathers for
identity and extension of their lineage. Doucet (2006) is of the view that men
should be more involved in their children’s lives and be emotionally involved
in their children’s lives. As our study has shown, in cases where fathers do
not have any role in their children’s lives the children exhibit or report
low-self esteem or feelings of an inferiority complex. This finding is
congruent with findings from a study by Finley and Schwartz (2007) that found
that young adults from families with both parents had high self esteem, were
positive about the future and were generally satisfied with life.
123
Participants also stated that using
their mother’s name was inappropriate and made them feel ‘nameless’. This
finding is supported by Kiernan (2006) who asserts that unmarried fathers that
are named in their children’s birth certificate are likely to continue personal
and emotional involvement with their children even when separated from their
mothers. Depression, anger and hate were emotions occasionally experienced by
participants over their absentee fathers and occasionally over the mothers who
they blame for their not knowing who their fathers are. In some incidences, the
topic about one’s father was avoided. This may also have contributed to the
participants’ experience of depression and anger. There is ample literature on
the benefits of participants knowing who their fathers are both from a social
and a mental health perspective (see, for instance, O’Brien 2004; Lamb 2010).
Peer-victimization through name calling
by those who are involved with their fathers was also mentioned by the
participants. There are numerous studies that associate peer victimization with
depression, anxiety, poor self esteem and a poor self concept (Hawker and
Boulton 2000; Flouri and Buchanan 2002). All these negative feelings were
experienced by the participants in this current study. Overall, the study
results show that the psychological well-being of young adults is positively
related to the involvement of fathers in their lives. It was also clear from
the findings that there is a need for fathers to get more emotionally, socially
and financially involved with their children. Amato (2004) also alluded to the
fact that adults who were close to their fathers are more likely to do well at
school, at work and have higher levels of psychological well-being and be
content with who they are compared to their counterparts without a father in
their lives.
Conclusion and Recommendations
It is evident from the stories of young people in Botswana
that there is a need for father involvement in their lives or the children’s
lives in general. For any meaningful involvement of fathers in the children’s
lives there must be policies put in place that will encourage men’s involvement
in the children’s lives. Doing so will give the children an identity and issues
such as marrying your brother or sister and feeling of insecurity will be
minimized. The authors therefore recommend that such policies should include a
policy that recognizes a child’s paternity by including the name of the father
in the birth certificate even if unmarried. The current practice in Botswana
for the most part is for a child of a single mother to use her mother’s maiden name.
Studies (Kiernan 2006; Carlson and McLanahan 2010) show that fathers whose
names appear in their children certificates are likely to continue contact with
their children.
124
Paternity leave is another policy that
the researchers recommend for Botswana. Currently there are sporadic
organizations that are considering paternity leave. Giving paternity leave will
encourage fathers to take responsibility of their offspring from the beginning
and it would in some way encourage responsibility for fathers and reduce the
mother’s possessiveness over the children as found in the study. O’Brien (2009)
argues that paternity leave may encourage fathers to become attached to their
children and subsequently reduce the possibility of leaving them. It would also
help fathers to become more supportive to the mothers.
Historically, the men’s role in raising
of their children was limited to economic contributions by policy makers
(Burgess and Russell 2004) leading to situations where fathers are often
invisible or overlooked in parenting programmes and activities. This has been a
trend in both developed and developing countries (Daly, Ashbourne and Brown
2009). The trend in men’s participation in care is changing following changing
dynamics of the world today, such as men’s employment status so that fathers
are expected to be involved in the parenting role (O’Brien and Richter 2011).
The benefits of father involvement in the socialisation of children hold across
cultures, family structures and types of parental relationships (Pruett 2000).
It is therefore apparent that a policy that encourages non-resident fathers to
be involved in their children’s lives is long overdue.
The presence of a policy, such as a
family strengthening policy that would encourage involvement of fathers in
their children’s lives should also entail a reorientation of the prevailing
cultural norms for mothers and fathers. The dominant Tswana culture assumes
that a woman’s social status is built through her ability to manage her
household and raise her children (Suggs 1996). Mothers in Botswana, therefore,
still adhere to the rigid traditional model, where a mother is the primary
caretaker. With changing cultural structures brought about by a modern economy
and social roles, both mothers and fathers need to rethink their social roles
and start by having an equal share in the raising, care giving, and nurturing
of a child.
In some Eastern European countries such
as the Czech Republic and Poland, parental leave exists for both mothers and
fathers. Similarly, in Slovenia the Parenthood Protection and Family Benefits
Act of 2006 provides 105 days of maternity leave, 260 days of childcare leave
and 90 days of paternity leave, with each parent entitled to half of the
childcare leave (Robila 2008: 5). In the United Kingdom and the United States
of America where there are family policies that encourage father involvement,
fathers have been seen to take keen interest in the welfare of their children
(Cowan 2008). As one of the most stable and modernizing countries in Africa,
Botswana should be a place where both mothers and fathers take up full
responsibility of socialising their children.
125
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