CHILD REARING PRACTICES.

INTRODUCTION

The way you raise your children can affect how successful they will be later in life.

There are various ways of child rearing practices they include:

1. Authoritarian parents: These are also referred to as autocratic or dictatorial parents. Parents in this category are insensitive of the children’s needs for expression. They are characteristically have  rare communication with their children. There are others who communicate but the communication is significantly negative. For instance, these parents who only talk to their children when they are reprimanding them. Most of these parents believe that children are there seen but not to be listened to. There communication is parent centered and does not give the child a chance express their own feelings.

                         Characteristics of children reared in this style

Extreme obedience. The fact that these children have been trained to follow the sacred rules, without questioning makes them obey to the extreme. These children follow directives from whoever is in authority without rising an eye brow, even when they do not quite agree or when they are not very sure. These children are likely taken advantage of by authority figures even if it is to their disadvantage.

They are likely to be timid. Due to harshness of their parents, these children fear that they may fail to perform to the expected level. They suffer from anxiety.

They have difficulties establishing relationships with peers. Authoritarian parents introduce their children into a hostile world. Children brought up in this style may not learn how to live in warm  relationship and may show some inferiority or be hostile when interacting with others. As a result they may not enjoy mutual relationships with others.

They could be aggressive and out of control. There are cases where children brought up in this style find the situation too harsh to cope with. They become hardened and rough. Such  children defy authority and can be very rough with others.

They are likely to be ignorant of many facts. This could be attributed by lack of explanation opportunities. These children are not likely to be innovative since they have to follow parent’s directives.

2.Authoritative parents

These are democratic parents. They allow dialogue between them and their children. Although they are willing to exercise control over their children they try to be understanding and rational. These parents reason with their children. They set realistic and consistent rules. They carefully explain the rules and allow some degree of independence and self-direction. They expect their children to make some substantive contribution in matters concerning their lives and activities. Parents appreciate their children’s participation.

                            Characteristics of children reared in this style

Independent. Since they are allowed to some degree of independence, these children trust their performance and freely work on their own.

Adventurous. The fact that these children are given some independence makes them become innovative. Their quest to know as a child is allowed to flourish. This leads them to get involved in finding out through experiments and adventure.

Altruism. Children learn a lot through role modeling. Through identification, children learn to behave like their parents. Since the parents have been role warm towards others. They learn to give a hand just like their parents have been concerned about their welfare. These children are likely to be popular among peers.

Self confidence. As their parents appreciate their contribution, these children learn that they have something to offer. They learn to acquire self respect and consequently believe in themselves.

Achievement oriented. Since these children are not pressured to perform, they set goals and pursue them. The cordial relationship that they enjoy with their parents propels them to gain mastery in their performance.

3. Permissive parents 

These parents allow their children to have their own way whatever it takes. They give them whatever they ask for. They are accepting and non-evaluating resources for their children. Parents using the  style hardly exert power or control over their children. They have little or no control over their children’s behavior.

                   Characteristics of children reared   in this style.

Aggressive. This is particularly common among children whose parents show no concern about aggressiveness at home. Such children are not likely to know that it is wrong to be aggressive.

Immaturity. The fact that the parents have not allowed these children to face challenges and solve them makes them remain childish especially in matters regarding to social interaction in peer relationships.

Avoid responsibility. Since their parents have not accustomed them to playing distinct roles at home, these children are  not likely to take responsibility. For example they avoid duties at school.

Lack self confidence. As they interact with others, they are ridiculed for their crude behavior. They feel embarrassed by their own behavior and this leads to loss of self confidence.

Anxiety. Since they are uncertain about what their behavior and the consequences, these children are likely to be habitually anxious.

4. Neglecting parents

These are the most un-involved parents. They are selfish and show little interest if any in their children’s activities. They are often unaware of their children’s whereabouts or their welfare. These parents are mainly concerned about their own immediate needs and convenient. They fail to teach their children attributes necessary for an effective social life.

                        Characteristics of children reared in this style.

Showing disturbance in relationships with peers and adults. Since the child lacked warm relationship in the formative years, he/she may not feel comfortable in relating with others.

Presence of anti-social behavior. Children are subjected to fending for themselves and lack guidance. They may thus be involved in vices such as truancy at school or other forms of juvenile delinquency.

They are likely to be moody and disobedient. Due to emotional imbalances that are associated with neglect and insecurity, these children may not afford to be consistent in their interaction with others.

Lack of sense of direction. These children have received little or no guidance at all and may be engaged in trial and error practices.

Poor performance at school. Factors such as truancy, absenteeism and involvement in vices divert the energy that could be directed to academics. Children who feel neglected may day-dream in class hence fail to learn in class.

                                          Tips for parenting.

1. Your children are not to be considered as your mere substitutes of the materialization of lost dreams.

2. Your children are not mere reservoirs for downloading your frustrations in your past life.

3. Your children too are unique individuals with distinctive identity and personality.

4. Do not expect your children to reciprocate the same love and protection you have extended to them.

5. Wether or not your children reciprocate your care and love, you have no choice but to rear them decently and justifiably as much as you can.

6. Expose them gradually to challenges and tests so that they will be brave themselves.

7. Stuff them with detached and disinterested love and care rather than excessive subjective affection.

8. Provide your children with comforts but never try to gratify their want for luxuries.

                                    Principles of child rearing.

1. Pay careful attention to your marriage or yourself, if you are single parent. Your marriage if it is strong and satisfying, will give your children more security than any amount of attention. If you are single, your sense of self respect and fulfillment as a person can act as the same sort of anchor for children.

2. Expect your children to obey you. Don’t apologize for decisions you make. Children need strong, confident parents upon whom they count to be authoritative, decisive and trust worthy. You are in charge of the family. As long as children live in your house, they don’t have the right to make decisions for themselves, you allow them the privilege of making decisions and you always have the option of revoking that privilege if it is abused.

3. Don’t be intimidated by the experts. Use suggestions and ideas that make sense to you and your family, but remember that all parent make mistakes now and then, and children are not permanently scarred by them. Raise your children your way and enjoy the results.

4. Turn off television. Preschool children need to play so that they can develop basic competency skills, learned by touching and exploring their environment. Nothing happens when a child sits passively in front of a television screen. Children should not be allowed to watch television until they have learned to read and enjoy books usually between class three and four.

5. Say no, and say it often. If the response is a tantrum, so be it Exposure to frustrations prepare children for the realities of adulthood and gives them tolerance a key ingredient to every successful story. Your obligation is not to make your children happy but to give them the skills to pursue happiness on their own. Don’t say arbitrarily, rules must be consistent and the reasons for them explained.

                                   Reference.

Bee,H and Boyd.(1996).The developing child.USA:Allyn and Bacon

Kostelnic,Stein,Whiren and Soderman(1993).Guiding Children’s Social Development.USA:South-Western Publishing company

Adolescence and its Challenges

Adolescence and its Challenges   Navigating Adolescence Stage  Adolescence is a period of transition between childhood and adulthood. It entails major interrelated physical, cognitive and psychological changes. This changes demand for new social roles to take place. It lasts about a decade from age 11 or 12 until late teenage. The adolescence due to the changes often faces a number of crises. Growth spurt: The beginning of adolescence is marked by physical as well as biological changes in both boys and girls. There is occurrence of rapid increase in height and weight. According to Papalia and Wendkos (1998:333), the growth spurt in girls begin between ages 9.5 and 14.5 and in boys between ages 10.5 and 16.The growth spurt lasts about 2 years soon after it ends. According to them, girls' growth spurt occurs earlier than boys. Girls between ages 11 and 13 are taller, heavier and stronger than their male counterparts of the same age. There is an increase in growth spurt of about ten to fifteen pounds weight gain and two to four inches in height during first three years of adolescence after which there is small increase in height until full adult.   With the onset of puberty, the adolescence hands and feet grow rapidly and become the first body parts to reach adult proportions, the trunk starts to grow. Boys at this age have an increase in muscle mass and thereafter physical strength. This explains why teenage boys are stronger than teenage girls. By mid twenties (20s), skeletal muscles account for 40 percent of body weight for an average male compared to 24 percent for a female. Changes in Girls: 1.      widening of pelvis to make child bearing easier        Layers of fat are laid just down under the skin at the pelvic area giving her hips a more rounded appearance. These changes may cause parts of the body to be out of proportion for awhile resulting to teenage gawkiness according to Papalia and Wendkos. 3.      The increase in production of oil and sweat producing glands results to pimples which maybe uncomfortable for adolescents 4.      Increase in height due to growth spurt. This may cause embarrassment to a girl when she finds herself towering above her male counterparts. As a result, girls begin Newman and Newman (2003:293) 5.      Obesity in some adolescents is also realized. According to Newman and Newman, being fat or obese attracts rejection from peers. They therefore resort to controlling their bodies through strict dieting and starvation. 6.      First menarche in girls occurs between ages 10 and 16 worldwide. Girls with early menarche tended to show aggression or depression. According to Newman and Newman, many girls worry about menstruating because it is embarrassing. Changes in Boys 1.      The penis of the boys lengthens. 2.      Prostate glands and seminal vesicles mature at age 11 to 14. 3.      Deepening of voice due to production of testosterone which causes changes in vocal cord. 4.      Some adolescent boys much to their distress experience temporary breast enlargement which is normal and lasts up to eighteen months. 5.      Growth of hair on their faces, armpits, chest, and pubic region. Adolescent boys are happy to see hair on their faces and chest. Papalia and Wendkos.(1998:335) but girls are usually dismayed at the appearance of any hair on their face or around their nipples though it is normal. Boys like to mature early and gain self esteem. They are stronger and better in sports and have an advantage in dating than early matures. Early maturing girls tend to be less sociable and less expressive. They feel less attractive.   Other changes that are realized in adolescents are: Surge in growth: Towards the end of childhood, usually girls at about ten or eleven and boys at twelve or thirteen show a period of rapid growth in height and weight. This growth is closely linked to the increased hormonal output of the pituitary gland which serves not only as a catalyst to produce growth but also as the controller of other glands which include adrenal, gonads and thyroid; which determine both tissue growth and function. The rapid growth continues for a period of about three to four years with the greatest increment in growth coming at an average age of 12 years in girls 14 years in boys. During this period it is not uncommon for a child to grow as much as 6 to 8 inches in height and gain 18 to 22 kilograms in a year's time. For a variety of reasons physical development in this period is characterized by a synchronization that brings concerns to adolescents and their parents and teachers. Skeletal and muscular development is more rapid than learning required for making use of the new muscle mass and motor habits. The body requires new learning. Bodily proportions also undergo changes. The facial features also alter because the growth of the lower parts of the face lags behind the growth of the upper parts. Legs, proportionally usually grow more rapidly than the body stem and hands and feet anticipate by several years the total years of their owners.  Generally, bodily growth is parallel by physiological changes such as cardiovascular and respiratory growth and changes in metabolism and general movement towards the adult states Puberty and sexual development Following closely on the heels of accelerated growth, the pituitary gland directs the adrenal cortex and the gonads into more activity. Prior to this time virtually equal amount of androgenic (male) and estrogenic (female) hormones are produced for both sexes by the adrenal cortex on the direction of interior pituitary gland. Now an increased amount of hormonal production differentiates the sexes; the males producing more androgens, the females more estrogen. Sex hormones are substances secreted by the gonads for reproductive functions and determination of secondary sexual characteristics for instance estrogen in females and testosterone in males. Testosterone is responsible for development of secondary sexual characteristics as they become sexually mature while in female, estrogen plays that role. Moreover, the genital and sex-appropriate tissues become more sensitive to these sex specific hormones. The dawn of these changes is reflected in boys when testes begin to enlarge. There follows in each sex a series of physical changes whose appearance is highly predictable and whose sequence is unalterable. In girls, the enlargement of breasts is followed by the growth of pubic hair, auxiliary hair. In boys, after the initial enlargement of the testes, there occurs pubic hair, auxiliary hair, and voice deepening and beard appearance. Primary sex characteristics include reproductive organs whose maturity is signaled by the menarche in girls and by the first ejaculation in the boy. Physical Strength Skill and Fitness   Physical changes above present only the gross picture of the changes that occur in adolescence. Even more significant, perhaps, are the growth patterns of strength and skills. The post-pubescent boy, even though he may be of the same chronological age as his friends who have not yet entered pubescence, will almost certainly be stronger and will likely have greater agility, motor coordination and body skills. He will of course rapidly overtake girls, whose strength already has increased about a year earlier and who briefly challenged him. You would like to know what forces account to this development. First it is clear that the accelerated production of male hormone brings with it added muscular strength. Secondly, the nature of skeletal growth, increased shoulder breath, bigger chest cavity and finally the greater lung size, heart size, and increased blood pressure are all favorable conditions for greater physical strength. While many of these changes occur in girls, their physical strength increases at a slower rate than males. There are two reasons for this superiority: 1.       Biologically, the male is favored by larger shoulder breath, a bigger chest cavity and better leg leverage. 2.      Culturally, girls receive little encouragement for development of strength. In fact, they are encouraged to be weak and dependent or at least pretend that they are. Along with increases in strength, come the development of motor coordination, reaction speed and perceptual-motor skills. In an appraisal of physical development, one important has to do with what is optimal. Height-weight charts are based on the average but may, when a large segment of youth is overweight, lead to faulty conclusions. What is average is not optimal. Psychosocial challenges The problems adolescents face during long period of growing have both biological and social roots. Physical changes and deviation can create many problems. Optimal development depends on successful accomplishments of the developmental tasks in infancy and childhood. How easy it would be for adolescents to make the transition into adulthood will depend partly on the individual, on environmental aids and obstructions and partly on their experiences.   Speed of transition: The changes during adolescence take place at a very fast pace. During no other periods does the individual undergo such a sudden and drastic change in such a short time and at no other age is he or she less prepared to cop the problems that this change brings.          Length of transition: Those who mature rapidly in terms of physical growth find adjustment difficult. They are expected to behave like adults because they look mature in appearance. On the other hand prolonged growth also brings problems. The adolescent gets into a habit of being dependent and this is hard to overcome later.     Discontinuities in Training: Much of the stress and strain during adolescence is due to discontinuities in training. For example the assumption of responsibilities during adolescence is difficult because the child has so far been trained to be dependent and submissive. Ambiguous status: In societies like India, a child is expected to follow the footsteps of his or her parents. This gives him a pattern of behavior to imitate the open society; by contrast, it is assumed that every individual should be free to choose his/her own course of self development.      Conflicting demands: The adolescent is often confronted with conflicting demand from parents, teachers, peers and the community.     Degree of realism: When adolescents begin to look like an adult, he/ she is given freedom. If he/she is not ready either physically or psychologically to play the adult role, they become dissatisfied. Degree of Dependency: How dependent an adolescent will be is determined mainly by the kind of training they received during childhood. Parents often foster dependency because they feel that adolescents are not ready to assume responsibilities for their own behaviors. Motivation: The adolescent goes through a period of wondering how he/ she will meet new problems and solve them. He/she will like to grow up being unsure of the ability to cope with the challenges of adulthood. So long as this feeling of insecurity exists, there will be little motivation to make the transition in adulthood. Concussion  Adolescence represent one of the greatest period of crisis. In fact according to Stanley Hall, it is indeed a period of storm and stress. It brings many ambiguities in life. During this phase one really does not know where he/ she stand. This uncertainty brings conflicts. Social Tumult in Adolescence Adapted from Africa Society Reference 1. Papalia .E and Wendkos O.(1998). Human Development.7th ed. U.S.A: McGraw-Hill. 2. Newman. M and Newman. R (2003).Development Through Life; A Psychosocial Approach.8th ed. USA: Thomson Wadsworth. 3. Abbassi. V. (1998). Growth and Normal Puberty; Pediatrics. 4. Shadfer ,R. and Kipp, K. (2010). Developmental Psychology; Childhood and Adolescence. Mexico: Wadsworth.